Friday, February 11, 2011


Having recently turned 30, I think it's important to take a step back and really think about my life goals. I think this because I've heard that I should. It's why one of my goals going forward is to be less impressionable than a common toddler.

Another goal is to start writing more of my own stuff again, which explains what you see here. Unless you got here through an unrelated Google search, in which case the explanation probably lies somewhere in my repeated use and misspelling of the word "abreast."

Whatever the case, welcome friend! Join me on my possible journey toward regular non-family readership, won't you?

I'm not sure what this blog will be (besides hilarious!), but to be sure we're headed in the right direction, I thought it would be a good idea to keep you a breast of some more of my aforementioned goals, both for myself and the blog. Seems like the adult thing to do. So let's see, there's:
  • Start blog.
OK, so far, so good. What else do we have?
  • Eat more pistachios.
  • Eat more tacos.
Doner. This is easy! Anything else?
  • Write everyday.
Wait a minute, that sounds like a lot of work. Can't I just agree to write when I've run out of pistachios and/or tacos?
  • No, write everyday.
Excluding Sundays and holidays?
  • No, write everyday.
That's going to be tough. I'm a busy young professional who leads an active lifestyle, that's why my fridge is full of Michelob Ultra. Can we meet in the middle?
  • OK, write every other day. At least.
Fine, I will.
  • Good.
  • You do that.
I will.
  • Just do it.
I said I would. God, get off my back.
  • Be all that you can be.
Vague and subjective, just the way I like my goals. In fact, if anybody asks, let's just go ahead and say that I've already done this one.
  • Reach out and touch someone.
And the lucky unsuspecting stranger on the bus is ...
  • Dance as though no one is watching
All right, these are getting a little harder, but goals are goals. However, I'll be damned if I'm going to love as though I've never been hurt.

On second thought, let's forget the goals. This is getting too personal, too fast. I think the best thing to do is just get on with it. So without further ado, aside from the ado between now and the next post, an ongoing collection of the finest written work in the history of human language. You're welcome.

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