Royal Fever: Catch It!

If you're anything like me, the royal wedding has your body totally covered in open sores right now. Yes, I think it's safe to say excitement over the upcoming nuptials of Prince William and Kate Middleton has us all urinating blood. Sounds like we've come down with a touch of Royal Fever, am I right? If there's another explanation, I can't think of it. Can you, Fezziwig?

OK, Fezzi, I know you're hungry. You've only been biting me all day. Just a minute while I tell the nice people about my recent column for the Dayton Daily News. In it I discuss William and Kate's ill-advised decision to go servant-less after they've wed. The fools! What if they both come down with Royal Fever? Or are they immune? Or maybe just he is and she could come down with it at any time because her veins are filled with nothing more than commoner blood, which is actually 60% dirt? Either way, my Royal Fever seems to be getting more intense and I'm really beginning to hallucinate. So while this minotaur gives me a piggyback ride to the doctor, why don't you swing by and check out the column.
Update: The links above are not working, but you can find the column here, on allbusiness.com for some reason. Must be because I'm all business. Or because I'm always taking care of it. One of the two.


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