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| "So, is this your first time? Driving! I mean driving!" |
I drive to work. If you drive to work, chances are I hate you. Because chances are, you do one of these five things, if not two or three of them. And if you do, I don't wish harm or an untimely end on you, as some other, less measured people might. On the contrary, I hope you have many years ahead, just with an unexplained tickle in your anus that never goes away. I hope you spend years seeing doctors and trying to treat it with hundreds of pungent creams and ointments that make maintaining any level of intimacy with your significant other nearly impossible. But you stay together for your kids, who, by the way, will start telling friends that you're dead because it's easier than telling them the truth. Then the discomfort gets to the point where sitting, even with a specially designed doughnut pillow, is an unpleasant experience and you have to stop driving to work. Either that or your car breaks down. Whatever gets you off the road.
See the list HERE.
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